


Things left unsaid

by GwenLemche



Series: Our untold story [1]
Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Closeted Character, Comfort, Could Be Canon, Drunken Kissing, Falling In Love, First Love, Friendship/Love, Grief/Mourning, Love, M/M, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-04-26 16:22:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5011531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GwenLemche/pseuds/GwenLemche
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jeremy and Tyler started to grow really close after Richard Lockwood's funeral. How did this end so suddenly? Here is my theory...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Let's talk about werewolves

Tyler has been crushing on Elena's little brother since he was fifteen. At first he couldn't admit his feelings, then he couldn't stand them, so his hate towards those feelings became hate towards his crush. When he found out the latter had sex with Matt's sister he couldn't bare the thought of the guy he liked being with someone else, and the only way he found to push her away from him was dating her since he couldn't date him. Other than nice sex, there was other advantages in being with Vicky: he had a good excuse to hate Jeremy and he could see him being jealous everytime he kissed the girl in front of him. He liked that because he could imagine his crush was jealous of him, but also to make him suffer. He wanted him to feel the pain he was feeling because of him.

But as time went by and events were passing, he progressively gave up the hate and turned it into friendship.

He first realised how stupid being his enemy was at the career fair. When Jeremy came to check up on him, he was being so understanding, Tyler could have share the hell he was living through with someone else... But he punched him in the face, because what he actually wanted to do at this moment was kissing him, and he only found this way to hold it back. He regretted that a bit after, he realised Jeremy couldn't only make him suffer, that he could have brought something positive. So he tried to befriend him at a party but he got rejected, which he could totally understand, so he let it go. When he saw the younger boy at the Grill with another girl he decided to leave them alone this time, even though he was jealous. Plus he was being more pissed at his dad flirting with another woman than his mum.

Then Vicky died, when he found out he first felt sorry for Matt, and Jeremy. He realised that life was too short and didn't want him or his crush to die as his enemy. So he drove Jeremy to Matt's place and made peace with him. He also tried to comfort him, but he didn't know how to do it. At least this time he didn't made his grief worse by sleeping with the girl he loved.

And finally his father died, and the only thing that could make him feel a bit better was the presence of the other boy. He was the only one who managed to cheer him up at the funeral. That day he was sick of hearing fake condolences from people he barely knew. Jeremy was real with him, he knew what it felt like, he knew what to say, he wasn't being an hypocrite and wasn't afraid to tell him his father was a dick. For the first time of the day he felt understood, and he could finally have a real and honest conversation. From that day Tyler knew he needed Jeremy more than ever, so he decided to start a real friendship with him. Even though he was afraid his feelings would show, he was ready to take the risk, finally.

Inviting the younger boy to his place with Aimee and Sarah was already a risk. The girls, or at least one of them, obviously wanted to hook up. He was afraid one of them would flirt with his crush, he would definitely be jealous! But after all, maybe Aimee went back on her decision. Maybe she regretted ditching Tyler at the lake and wanted to have sex with him. He was hoping that, she would be a nice distraction.

"Where is mine?"

Looks like he was right! He brought the girl to the room next to them and handed her a glass.

"Thanks for having us over. I think Sarah's got a thing for Jeremy"

It was so unfair, why could she have Jeremy and not him? He knew why: Jeremy's straight, Sarah is a girl, end of story. Tyler felt a pinch in his stomach, but he had to play cool.

"Well, good for Sarah"

Yeah, he envied her.

"Look, I'm really embarrassed for slating in up that day at the swimming hole. I'm really not like that, I promise you"

"You don't need to apologize"

"Friends?"

"Yeah, sure"

Tyler really hated when girls did that, he wanted her as a hook up and nothing more. Why would a "friendship" be of any consolation?

As they drank Tyler heard Sarah's annoying laugh, which became even more annoying now that he knew this laugh was used to seduce Jeremy. The older boy really hoped it wouldn't work.

He was tempted in checking the other room to see what was going on. Luckily he didn't need to since Sarah was the one who joined them in the other room to take Jeremy's notebook.

"Can I see?"

"No, no. No way" Jeremy answered as he was entering the room too.

"I want to see" Aimee said

What, was she flirting with him too? Tyler felt like he was in a competition. Even though he knew he could never win, even without any rival. Plus he also wanted to see Jeremy's drawings.

"Yeah, let's see. What's Van Gogh got going on?"

He was kinda proud of that last sentence, with this he pointed the fact that he knew this notebook was used for drawing, so that he was the one who knew him better. Plus calling him Van Gogh was a nice not-flirty compliment. Maybe he could after all have a friendship with his crush without getting busted.

Jeremy finally agreed "Okay, yeah. Check it out"

Tyler felt a bit flattered to see he was the one who changed Jeremy's mind. It probably meant he was the one he prefered in the room, even if it wasn't in a romantical way, he was glad about it.

But then his mind got totally somewhere else when he saw the drawing: wolves, only wolves! He tried not to think of anything that was linked to werewolves the entire day, and now he can only see that all over Jeremy's notebook!

"What's this about?" Tyler took the book from Sarah's hands and kept looking though it.

It didn't change: a muscular wolf, a wolf's face, a wolf's silhouette... What was that about, did Jeremy know? Was he involved somehow?

"Just some scratches. You still draw, Tyler?"

"A little but not much"

If he knew that all Tyler's been drawing these past few days were portaits of Jeremy!

"You know, I've got something I'm actually working on. Come on, I'll show you"

He had to find out, so he brought the younger boy to his father's office. This werewolf story drove him crazy, he hated it, he hated anything that was linked to it. For a short moment he transposed this hate into Jeremy. So he push him against the wall, holding him by the neck.

"What were those pictures about?" Tyler asked angrily

"I can't breathe"

He didn't care, all he wanted was answers: he wanted this over with right now!

"Answer to me! Why? Why wolf pictures?"

"Because… because I know"

"You know what? You know what Jeremy?!

"I know what you are"

Tyler let go off Jeremy, as he was watching the younger boy holding his neck he realised what he just did to him.

"God I'm sorry, I just panicked... How do you know about all this?"

As they were talking Tyler felt like he could more and more trust Jeremy. He was telling him everything: Mason, the curse... And his friend believed him, was listening, interested... Tyler realised that's what he needed all this time: someone else to talk to about werewolves. He could evacuate all of this, he never felt so close to anyone before, so trustful... So he showed him the moonstone, and the younger boy joined him on the couch. That moment was so amazing, he was alone with Jeremy, talking to him about his darkest secret without being judged! He even managed to make the other boy smile...

"Found you!"

"Hey, you guys are missing all the drinking"

Damn, he totally forgot about the girls! Why do they get interrupted everytime something's going between them at his father's office? First Mason at the funerals, now this...

"Oh, I'm sorry. Were you two having a moment?"

"No, we're good" Of course he didn't mean it, he really wanted to kick the girls out and continue his talk with Jeremy.

"Hey, hey, what is that?"

As if Sarah wasn't annoying enough, she also had to take the moonstone from Jeremy's hand! So Tyler tried to grab it before her, but accidently grabbed the other boy's hand instead. During this brief contact he felt like electricity came from his crush's hand, which increased the pounding of his heart. He couldn't tell if it felt right or wrong but he knew he hated having that, that's why he always avoided contact with Jeremy.

But he didn't had time to stay confused, he had to take the damn rock back! And the girls really didn't make it easy, it may have been fun if they were playing with another object but this was the fucking moonstone they had in their hands! He had no idea what would happen if they made a mistake! But he also had to play cool with it, liking Jeremy and being in a family of werewolves were two secrets he really had to keep well.

"You're lucky you're cute when you're drunk" He says pretending to enjoy it a bit

"I want Jeremy to come get it"

Tyler really couldn't stand that she was keeping the moonstone AND flirting with Jeremy. This was becoming to be a personal affair.

"Give me a break!" Tyler says climbing the stairs where she was.

"Sarah, don't be a bad drunk" Aimee seemed to have abandonned the game

"Jeremy, come upstairs with me. See how a bad drunk I can be"

"I'm good, thanks"

Tyler was glad to find out Jeremy wasn't interested back in her, and seeing her disappointed face was really pleasing. But she still had the moonstone, and he had to take it back.

"Seriously, give it back"

He tried to take it from her hands but she really didn't let herself do. He tried to stay as calm as possible, to be the least violent he could be, damn, it was hard! And he failed: Sarah tripped and fell down the stairs. She was layed down, unconscious.

Hope she dies!

Oh my God, did he actually think that? How could he wish someone's death? On his hand? This thought came though his mind only during a split second, but Tyler was worried about it. Was it the jealousy? Or because she's been annoying him? Or was it the inner wolf that wanted to come out? He didn't want to become a werewolf, why is Sarah still not moving?

Thankfully, Sarah opened her eyes "Fooled you!"

Tyler wanted to punch her in the face for doing that.

"You pushed me on the stairs!" She continues

Tyler couldn't say anything, he was paralysed.

But Jeremy saved the moment "Look, he didn't mean it okay?"

Then he gave Tyler big judgy eyes as the two girls was walking away. Tyler looked at him back thinking "I know, but she didn't die, it's fine"

After that Jeremy came with the girls, leaving Tyler by himself. The latter looked at the moonstone he finally managed to get back. What it such a good idea to keep it? He was sick of the supernatural stuffs, and it wouldn't leave him if he didn't leave what was linked to it.


	2. Too close

Jeremy came back in the living room. He saw Tyler sitting still on the stairs, his head resting on his crossed hands.

"Aimee is taking Sarah to the hospital to make sure she's okay, wanna come with them?"

Tyler kept looking in front of him "I'm good, thanks"

Jeremy realised Tyler didn't really care about Sarah, all he was caring about was the curse. Jeremy found this pretty selfish, but maybe legitimate. He didn't know what it felt like to be afraid of being a supernatural being, especially that he tried to become one less than a month ago. But even though he had no idea he still felt concerned about Tyler who still looked shocked by the recent event. So he sat next to him.

"Tyler, are you okay?" he asks while putting his arm on the other's shoulder

Tyler immediatly stood up up as he began to feel his crush's hand.

"Yeah! I... I just need a drink"

Tyler went straight to the bar and drank a shot of tequila while Jeremy followed and watched him.

"Want a drink too?" The older one asks.

Jeremy didn't know if it was a good idea to leave Tyler by himself, but he wanted to leave quickly so he could tell Damon what he found out.

"No thanks, I'm gonna take off"

"Oh come on, no one's here now" Tyler filled another glass and handed it to Jeremy "Let's finish what we started"

The latter crossed his arms "What exactly did we start? Wasn't the point of this making out with the girls who now just left?"

"It was, until I found out you knew about my family curse. And talking about it with someone else was better than being with any girl." Then Tyler smiled "Plus I don't think you were really into Sarah or Aimee, am I right?"

Jeremy looked down and smiled too.

"Yeah, you're right. Sarah's really not my type"

Tyler really loved that smile, it was even more enjoyable when he was the one causing it. He also liked hearing that Sarah wasn't Jeremy's type, even if he found it weird because Sarah seemed to be the same kind of girl as Vicky. Though Jeremy dated a weirdo after her, so maybe his tastes have changed.

"See? Just the two if us is fine!" Tyler handed the glass again "So let's just have a drink between dudes and chat"

They didn't need to chat anymore, Jeremy got all the informations he needed.

"Still, I have to see someone." Jeremy said as he was taking his backpack "Maybe another time"

Who was that someone? A friend or a date? Tyler hated being jealous like that, but he had to know.

"Someone?" Tyler rose an eyebrow and fake smiled "Looks like you had other plans huh? Is that why you rejected Sarah?"

"What? No! It's not a date!"

Thank God

"Alright, do you want me to drive you there?"

"No thanks, I'll walk"

"Okay then, see you!" he waved him.

"Bye" Jeremy waved back and made his way to the front door.

"Wait!" Jeremy stopped and turned as Tyler was walking towards him "I just wanted to thank you for today. Talking about my family curse with someone else, it really released a weight on my shoulders"

"No problem man"

"It's like... You're always here when I need to talk, about stuffs I can't tell anyone else."

They stopped talking and starred at each other. Everytime they looked each other in the eyes there was something magnetizing, magical about it. Tyler felt like the rest of the world disappeared and a new one was created based on the two of them. Anything could happen, he wouldn't care as long as Jeremy would still be there. Jeremy realised how close they grew, he almost felt like he could read in Tyler's mind. He saw how much the other guy needed him. This reminded him that Tyler wasn't just a guy he had to take informations from, he was also his friend. After that he hesitated staying, but really wanted to see Damon as soon as he could.

"That's what friends are for" Jeremy answers tapping Tyler on the shoulder.

The contact was brief enough not to make Tyler feel awkward. He was just happily surprised by what he just heard.

"We're friends now?"

"I guess so. Why? You don't feel that way?"

"Yes, I do." Tyler rubbed his neck looking down "It's just weird since we used to be enemies and all, I thought our relationship was more complicated than that"

"It's not, and it shouldn't be. Our hatred is far behind us now"

Tyler smiled "You're right"

Jeremy smiled back "See you around"

"Yeah, see you"

Jeremy left and started walking to the Salvatore's house.

Working, or at least trying to work with Damon gave a sense in his life again. For the first time in a long while he felt useful. Being with Anna made him realise what he needed in his life: adventure. His life became more precious now that he wasn't certain of when it would end. Being in the middle of dangerous stuffs could get him killed, or knowing everything and being able to do something about it could save his life. He prefered the second option, and being around vampires kinda reminded him of Anna. Not that it was the only thing he saw in her, he already liked her when he thought she was human, but her being a supernatural being is what made him falling in love with her. She made him seeing life a different way, a much more interesting and entertaining way. And he wanted to be part of that, with or without her. But it would have been better with her: facing dangers with someone you love increases the feelings, and gives you a real reason to fight. He missed her, he felt so helpless about her death. How could have he let her die? People held him back, sure, but he could have done something else: like pretending to give up and follow her, finding out where they would take her so he could be able to save her... But he was all new to this and didn't know how to handle these kind of situations yet. That's also why he wanted to be involved in the supernatural stuffs, to be able to protect the people he loves. Even though Anna was dead, he still had a part of his family that was still alive and in danger.

Even thought the guy killed him not a long time ago Jeremy thought working with Damon was the best option if he wanted to be part of this. He knew Elena wouldn't agree and try to keep him away to protect him, while Damon didn't care if he lived or die. He was proud of all the informations he got from Tyler, well, not in a moral way because he kinda feels like he was betraying the other guy. Tyler confided himself and Jeremy was going to tell everything to someone else. It's for a good cause he thought. Still, he used him: he just took informations from Tyler and took off. Plus the guy really seemed to need company, and not from anyone considering the craziness of his problem. Jeremy started to feel guilty, he stopped walking and looked back. He's been gone for a dizain of minutes, he couldn't see Tyler's mansion anymore. But maybe it wasn't too late to go back there. Damon could wait after all, it's not like he was even expectig him to come. Jeremy hesitated for a few minutes, and stepped back.

He arrived at Tyler's front door and knocked. No one answered.

"Tyler?"

Song: Too Close by Alex Clare

Jeremy heard a glass breaking. So he opened the front door that was left unlocked.

"Tyler? What happened?" He calls as he walks to the living room.

He found Tyler stumbeling, gripping himself at the bar, with broken pieces of glass to his feet. The latter started to panic when he saw his crush.

"Jeremy? What are you doing back here?"

"Are you drunk?"

"Maybe I am, Mum!"

Jeremy starts yelling "What the hell Tyler?"

"You didn't want to drink with me, so I drank by myself"

"Why did you need to drink so much?"

"Sarah survived, I had to celebrate that"

Tyler took a bottle of tequila half empty and drank straight from it. Jeremy dropped his bag and walked towards Tyler as he was lecturing him.

"That's not why: your father died and you found out you could become a werewolf by killing someone, which you almost did! So you're drowning your problems in alcohol!"

When he arrived in front of Tyler he raised his hand toward the bottle Tyler was drinking from.

"Gimme that!" Jeremy orders.

"Wanna drink with me in the end?"

Jeremy grabbed the bottle and tried to pull it away from Tyler who was resisting.

"Stop it! It's not the solution!"

"Look who's talking! When your parents died you started smoking you hypocrite!"

Jeremy's face came closer and closer to Tyler's as he was yelling "That's the point! I know what I'm talking about: drugs may ease the pain at first, but it ruins your life! And when you will realise it you will want to..."

Their faces were getting too close, Tyler felt his heart pounding. He wanted to kiss Jeremy too badly, and the alcohol didn't ease fighting his pulsions. So he quickly let go off the bottle and stepped back.

"Alright! I stop!"

"Thank you"

Jeremy calmed down and tidied the bottle. Tyler left the bar and let himself fall on the couch that was next to it.

"Thank YOU, I think you just prevended me for doing a big mistake"

"I did, trust me"

Tyler looked at Jeremy, his vision was a bit blurry, and it felt like everything was moving. He blinked and began to wonder what his life would be without the young boy. No one would have conforted him during his father's funeral, he couldn't have spoken about the werewolf curse to anyone he trusted, moreover he would have become an alcoholic and turn into the broken messed up loser Jeremy was after his parent's death. A life without Jeremy was all he was wishing for a few months ago, now this thought has become almost unconceivable. His life was a real mess and Jeremy was the only one who could make it better. He wanted to say all of this to him but he was afraid that if he started talking he would go too far. In fact, he was afraid of going too far as long as Jeremy was there.

"You can leave now, I'm gonna go to my room. I won't drink again, I promise"

"Can you even walk there?"

"Yeah, totally!"

"Show me"

Tyler watched Jeremy hesitantly. He was 90% sure he couldn't walk to his room. But doing it was the only way to get rid of his crush, so he decided to give it a shot anyway. He got up and started walking to the stairs, which he was doing hardly so he used the couch to stay up. Jeremy walked to the stairs and watched him, trying not to laugh. Tyler was starring at the stairs he wanted to reach and the 10 feet that were between it and him. Then he let go off the couch and tried to walk as fast as possible but tripped. Jeremy catched him, using a hand to hold his friend's chest and with the other one on his back.

"Whoa, easy!" Jeremy said.

Tyler really liked having Jeremy's hands on him. He turned his face to his crush, starred at his lips, he also wanted to put his hands on him...

Jeremy's voice brought him back to reality "Is there something wrong? You're heart's beating really fast"

Tyler pushed Jeremy away "Get off me Gilbert!" Which made him fall on his back on the stairs

"Ouch!"

Jeremy couldn't hold his laugh.

"Dude, you're uncapable of climbing the stairs! Who knows? Maybe killing yourself could also trigger the curse"

"I can handle this!"

Tyler tried to sit on the stairs, then gave up when he realised doing it fast made him want to puke. Jeremy sat on the stairs next to him.

"Come on, it's okay to admit you can't do something when you're dead drunk"

"It's not that! I just..." Tyler covered his face with his hands "I don't want you to see me like this, I think I'd rather crawl to my room"

"So what? I've seen you drunk before"

Tyler got his hands off his face and rested them on his stomach "Never that much Jer"

Jeremy half smiled "You're right, it's like you're having your first hangover"

Tyler tried to sit again, slowly this time. He managed to do it even though after his head hurt even more.

"I never drink that much in front of people, I always manage to stay in control"

"Like when you tried to rape Vicky?"

"I knew that..."

Tyler immediatly stopped talking. Was he going to say that he knew that Jeremy was following them and predicted he would stop him? Damn, he wasn't thinking straight anymore, he became too talkative. And what he just said intrigued Jeremy.

"That what?" Jeremy asked.

Tyler opened his mouth but nothing came out of it, he had no idea what to make up. Jeremy got closer to Tyler's face.

"That what Tyler?"

His lips were too close to Tyler's. The temptation was becoming stronger and stronger...

"Just get out! Or I might do something stupid!"

"Like what?"

Tyler grabbed Jeremy's face and put his lips on his. When the latter realised what was happening he pushed Tyler away.

"Ew! What the hell?"

Tyler couldn't believe he actually did it, he kissed him! He just kissed Jeremy fucking Gilbert! That was something he never expected to do, he has restrained himself for so long, and he just let it go! He had no idea what to do or say, his heart was beating faster and faster, he could barely breathe...

Jeremy got up and stepped back. He looked at Tyler, speechless, and ran away.

When he made his way to the street he could hear a "Fuck" coming from Tyler's mansion. Then he realised he forgot his backpack in the heat of the moment. He couldn't go back, that would have been way too embarassing. Jeremy decided to go home instead of the Salvatore's mansion, he wasn't in the mood for investigation anymore. As he was walking he started to regret running off like this, but that was all he found to do in the moment. He started to think he shouldn't have gone back to the mansion to check on Tyler, but realised that if he hadn't his friend may have ended up alcoholic. Though his mother could have noticed and help him too... maybe not after all. Carol Lockwood may be a neglecting mother, since she let her husband hitting her son.

Jeremy thought about the kiss again: it was gross, Tyler's mouth smelled like tequila, and it was the first time he got kissed by a guy. Why would Tyler Lockwood even kiss him? Does he have feelings for him? Jeremy didn't really want to know the answer to this question but he couldn't help wondering. Was Tyler gay? He didn't think so, he dated a lot of girls and never seemed to have any feelings for any guy. But that didn't mean anything, he could have pretend everything, just like any popular person in the closet would. After all there could have been other reasons: maybe he wanted to experiment, maybe he didn't have sex in a long time and was ready to do anything with anyone drunk. Maybe Jeremy was worrying for nothing, maybe Tyler was just so drunk he could kiss anyone. He prefered to hold on to that explanation and forget about what happened. Although he wondered what would happen the next time he would see Tyler. Being kissed by him was embarrasing, sure, but he didn't want their friendship to end because of that. Jeremy hoped Tyler would feel the same.


	3. What happened yesterday

The day after was a regular Friday. When the classes were over Matt and Tyler decided to hang at the Grill and play pool while Jeremy was sitting alone at a table not far from them. He didn't really know if he could join them or not. Even if he still wanted to be friends with Tyler he didn't know if it was reciprocated, or if they were supposed to talk about the kiss. So he just looked at them playing, and waited to see how Tyler would react if they exchange a glance.

As he was watching him Jeremy wondered if his feelings towards his new friend could, or would change. The thought of dating Tyler never crossed his mind before the guy kissed him, but since it happened that became a pretty recurring thought. At first it was totally absurd, but then he wondered if it really was. Even though he's never felt attraction for any male before this could still be possible, he was still young, he didn't know himself perfectly. Though he knew he liked girls, for sure. He couldn't imagine for a moment that what he felt for Vicky and Anna wasn't love. He knew he was in love with them, and that sex with them was amazing. After all Jeremy has never been really attracted to people just for sex, he was more into falling for personnality. So maybe gender didn't matter to him? He could fall for vampires so why not guys? He didn't want to know before but now he wants to know what this kiss meant. At first he was afraid that Tyler would be attracted to him but now he was okay with this thought, he would even give him a chance if Tyler asked him. Not that he became attracted to him, he was just curious.

When it was Matt's turn Tyler noticed Jeremy watching him. His crush smiled at him awkwardly, he answered with a small wave that his best friend noticed

"Who are you waving at?"

"Jeremy Gilbert, he's by himself over there"

"Seriously?"

Matt hardly believed that. He knew the two guys weren't enemies anymore but he didn't think they would be friends. So he looked where Tyler was waving at and it was indeed Elena's brother. Then he looked back at his best friend. The latter wondered why Jeremy was staying by himself instead of joining them. Was that because he didn't wanted to or because he creeped him out the day before? Tyler had to know.

"Hold on. I'll be right back"

Tyler tapped Matt's shoulder and walked towards Jeremy.

"Hey Jer!"

"Hey man"

"Have you been by yourself for a long time?"

"Not really"

"Why were you watching us? Were you hesitating to go seeing me?"

Jeremy got a bit embarrased, he looked down smiling then looked back at Tyler.

"I was actually"

"Why? Does this has something to do with yesterday?"

"Yeah. I thought it could be awkward. I didn't really know if you still wanted to talk to me after that"

Tyler was surprised to hear that. Why would he share his secret to avoid him after? To the contrary, it meant he trusted him and wanted to be a close friend! He sat at Jeremy's table and looked him in the eyes.

"Of course I still want to! You became one of my closest friends that day! What about you? You're not afraid of me now are you?"

"Not afraid, just a bit confused"

"Good, I knew I could trust you about that whole werewolf thing"

Jeremy got surprised, he thought they were talking about the fact that Tyler kissed him.

"The... werewolf thing?"

Tyler didn't understand Jeremy's confusion, he didn't forget about it didn't he?

"Er... Yeah. We went to my place with Aimee and Sarah, we looked at your notebook filled with werewolf scratches, that you left at my place by the way, then I told you about my family curse, almost killed Sarah, she went to the hospital with Aimee and you left to see a friend of yours"

"And you got drunk"

"How do you know that?"

"Because I was there, how do you... not know that?"

Oh shit, Jeremy was there! And Tyler had no idea what happened! Did he do something to Jeremy?

"'Cause I blacked out. Did I..." Tyler looked down and scratched his head, trying to find a way to phrase it without sounding too suggestive "Do something bad to you?"

Jeremy noticed Tyler was panicking. He probably didn't want to know what happened, and he already had to deal with the werewolf curse and the moonstone.

"No, you didn't"

"I didn't hit you or anything right?"

"No, you've been agressive but you didn't hurt me"

Actually, that wasn't the only thing Tyler was afraid of. But he couldn't ask him if he did something flirty or innapropriate. Though Jeremy probably would have told him if he did.

"Good." Tyler got up from his chair " Anyways, Matt and I are playing pool over there. Wanna come with us?"

"Yeah, sure"

Jeremy got up, took his backpack and followed Tyler.

"By the way, do you have my bag?"

"Sure, I brought it with me. Where does this one come from?"

"It's Elena's old one from middle school"

Tyler giggled.

"What?"

"You've got a girl's bag!"

"Come on, it's not a girly bag!"

"That's still fun!"

It wasn't that fun actually, but Tyler loved teasing Jeremy. When they reached Matt Tyler pointed Jeremy his backpack.

"It's here"

Jeremy put Elena's old bag in his current one.

"Thanks man"

Tyler turned to Matt.

"Hey, do you mind if Jeremy plays with us?"

Matt didn't thought Jeremy and Tyler would hang or be friends, he was happily surprised to be mistaken. He liked the idea of being friends with Jeremy too. He always saw him as a little brother, but he was afraid a friendship with him would compromise the one he had with Tyler.

"Of course not! We're in the middle of a game though, do you want to take the winner or team up with one of us?"

"I'll team up with Tyler" Then he turned to Tyler "If... you don't mind"

"Hey, I was being nice to you! Why are you trying to make me lose?"

"You dick, I'm teaming up with you!"

"Alright, if you don't think you can stand a chance against either one of us"

"Are you trying to tell me that I suck Lockwood?"

"Never saw you playing before, just saying"

"You know what? I changed my mind, when you two are done with this game I'll play against you"

"No problem, prepare to have you ass kicked"

This scene was weird to Matt: they could have had the same conversation a few months ago, but with an agressive tone and a fight at the end. While now the tone was much more joyful, they were just teasing each other nicely, like the eventuality of them becoming enemies again didn't exist.

"It's cool to see you guys getting along. Since when are you two friends like this?"

"Since my father's funeral I guess"

"Yeah, having a dead father is now something else we have in common" Jeremy looked at Tyler then Matt with a sad smile.

"It's not like screwing Vicki Donovan wasn't something in common that made us become friends!" Said Tyler actually smiling.

He realised one second later what he said, and regretted it. Jeremy looked at him shocked and Matt looked down, containing his anger, clenching his fists on the pool table.

"I cannot believe this Tyler... She was my sister, she's dead, and you still only see her as a freaking sexual object!"

Then he gave a look at his watch.

"You know what? My break's almost over, you two have fun"

"Wait, I'm sorry!" Tyler said as he watched his best friend walking away. Then he looked at Jeremy, who seemed broken.

"I was in love with her Ty, it wasn't just "screwing Vicki Donovan" to me"

"I know, I'm sorry" then Tyler went close to Jeremy and raised his arms "Go ahead: hit me"

"What?"

"Last time I talked about her that way you pushed me against a locker. If you wanna do something like that again I get it, I deserve it"

"Dude, I think we're over this, don't you? I mean, after that you refused to fight me when your dad took us outside"

"Yeah, I do. But when it comes to Vicki... I wish I had cared more about her but I didn't, and I still can't care more"

"That's because you didn't actually knew her, you didn't even tried to"

"That's your opinion, but honestly I'm sure there wasn't anything interesting in her for me, except her body"

As he said this Tyler continued playing. He knew it was bad to say that but he felt like he could tell Jeremy anything, even stuffs that hurt. The boy told him his dad was a dick after all. But still, he knew some of his words could have consequences, so he looked back at Jeremy to see his reaction about what he just said: he was looking at him with disapproval but didn't seem really angry.

"I hope you're not mad, I'm just being honest"

"I kinda am but that's fine, I mean, I'm not surprised. I'll get used to it eventually"

"Look, if it can make you feel any better I've felt this way about most of the girls I've been with. Actually, I don't think I've ever been in love with a girl"

When Tyler said that Jeremy saw an opportunity to find out if Tyler was gay or not without mentioning the kiss, and decided to take it.

"Have you ever been in love with a guy?"

Tyler never actually wondered that. He knew he liked Jeremy a lot, that he had feelings he wish he didn't have. But he didn't know if it was love or not, since he didn't know what it precisely felt like. What actually mattered was why Jeremy was wondering. Did Tyler do something that would make him wonder?

"What? Why are you asking that?"

"Just wondering"

Tyler didn't believe this thought would come randomly into Jeremy's mind. He did something, but he didn't know what.

"I haven't, okay? What would make you think that?"Jeremy started to open his mouth but Tyler immediatly stopped him. Jeremy knew something, the only thing Tyler could do would be limitate the damages "Look, I'm gonna make you a confidence. Lately, I've been... wondering what it would be like to... do stuffs... with a guy. And I've been tempted into trying it, but I already feel like this was just a momentary bi-curious phase"

"Bi-curious phase?"

"Yeah"

"So..."

Matt cut Jeremy as he came back with three drinks in his hand.

"Hey, sorry I left like this. These are on me"

"You bought us drinks because Tyler pissed you off?"

"Some beverage are free for me, one of the few advantages in working here"

"Sorry again for what I said earlier"

"I forgive you"

Tyler rose his glass

"To Vicky"

His two friends rose their glass as well, repeated what he just said and drank. Matt broke the silence that followed.

"I gotta get back to work, you guys can start a new game"

Matt walked away, Tyler tidied the balls and installed them as Jeremy watched. When Tyler finished he handed the queue to the younger boy.

"Come on, show me your skills"

As Tyler watched Jeremy playing questions were running through his head. What did Tyler do to Jeremy when he was drunk? What are his feelings precisely? What does Jeremy know about them? Did he buy that bi-curious excuse?

The answer to the last question was yes. Jeremy believed that Tyler just kissed him by curiosity. He was relieved to finally know the point of this kiss. Turned out it was practically nothing. Now that he thought that Tyler didn't especially had feelings for him Jeremy didn't see the point of wondering what would be with Tyler like. His interest of a possible relationship with the guy faded little by little. And he finally just saw him as a friend again.


	4. Help me out

Matt and Tyler were at Tyler's mansion, helping decorting for the Masquerade ball. Tyler used to love that party, and so did his dad. This was one of the few things they actually shared and not one of the plenty of things his father practically forced him to like. He could remember all of the times they've been helping decorating together, even when Richard was elected mayor he kept helping decorating with him even though he didn't have to, because it was a tradition to them. Even though he didn't like the balls because he always had to make a good figure, decorating has always been one of his best memories with his father. But this year he's gone, forever. And even thought this year he's decorating with his best friend, the moment he's spending is just another painful reminder of what he's lost. When he was seeing Matt at the top of the ladder, hanging the lantern, he thought his dad was supposed to be there. Though his best friend's company wasn't the worse, and he had to think about something else. So Tyler decided to start a conversation.

"So... How's it going with Caroline?"

"It's funny you're asking, I was wondering the same thing"

"Is it that complicated?"

"I can't even tell if we're still together. She's been acting so weird since the accident" Matt said as he climbed down the ladder.

"It must be some post-traumatic stress, it's normal when you have a near death experience" explains Tyler as he gave him another lantern.

"I don't know. I mean, you almost died too. And you seem to recover pretty well" Matt says climbing the ladder

"Well, finding out that my father did die kind of made me forget about almost dying" Tyler answers with a sarcastic tone

Matt stopped hanging the lantern and looked at Tyler. He remembered his best friend was going through much worse than he was, it made him feel stupid and selfish.

"Oh men, I'm sorry..."

"That's fine"

"How are you dealing with it?"

"I don't wanna talk about it."

Matt didn't insist and went back to his lantern. He knew that Tyler never wanted to show weakness or sensitivity. Even though not insisting made him feel helpless he knew that it was the way to behave with Tyler.

"Let's go back to you, what are you going to do with Caroline?" Tyler asks

"I don't know. I have no idea how to handle her now."

"Why don't you just drop it?"

"Because I love her Ty"

"How do you even know that?"

"You've never felt it before right?"

Tyler didn't answer while Matt came down to him for another lantern.

"I'm not even surprised" said Matt smiling

When Tyler took another lantern for Matt, he noticed Jeremy was there. Tyler knew that he hasn't been in love before, but didn't know if he was currently. He became curious about it, even if it scared the crap out of him. So he asked his best friend as he gave him the lantern.

"Enlighten me then! What's love like?"

"First of all, it's when you don't see someone as a sexual object" Matt answers while climbing the ladder

"Dude, how many times will I have to apologize for Vicky?"

"I wasn't even thinking specifically about her, you've been a douche to all of the girls you've been with"

"Because I haven't loved any of them"

"You didn't need to love them. Compassion is enough to treat a girl right"

"So what's love?"

"Why this sudden interest for love?" Matt asks climbing down the ladder.

"I'm just trying to understand how you feel" Tyler says as he handed a lantern to Matt.

Matt stayed down the ladder, keeping the lantern in his hand.

"You never asked me when Elena broke up with me"

"I didn't care that much back then, now I'm more concerned about you"

"It's not because you're falling in love and wonder if you actually are?"

"No, it's not!"

Matt didn't believe that. Considering how Tyler was about hiding his sensitivity, it was obvious he wouldn't admit being in love, especially with someone he wasn't not dating. Tyler doubted that Matt didn't believe him. It was okay though, he knew he could trust Matt. But he couldn't tell him about Jeremy, someone could overhear them or Matt could be a less good liar than Tyler is. And he wasn't ready to take the risk of ruining his reputation yet.

"Well love..." Matt started to explain "There are the basics stuffs: heart beating fast, blushing, legs shaking..."

"Those are actual stuffs? I thought these were only in books"

"No dude, that's real" Matt answers giggling

Tyler thought of when his heart was beating unusually fast everytime he had a contact with Jeremy. But he never blushed as far as he knew, and didn't have the shaking legs either. Still, he tried to look for other symptoms.

"So... stomach pains are real too?" Tyler asks thinking of all of the times he's been jealous of Jeremy.

"You've read it somewhere uh?" Matt says obviously pretending he didn't suspect Tyler being in love.

"Yeah, in a comic" Tyler answers playing the game.

"Yes, this is real too. There's also this sensation of burning inside, it makes you feel consumed and powerful at the same time. Being with her is magical, her presence is addictive, your world practically revolves around her... In short, it's the stronger feeling in the world"

"Even stronger than grief?"

"... Honestly, I don't know. You should ask Jeremy, he has known both"

The irony of this made Tyler want to laugh, but he had to pretend this was totally normal.

"Yeah, I'll ask him"

Matt climbed the ladder again to hang the other lantern. During this time Tyler tried to think of his feelings for Jeremy precisely. He was pretty much addicted to him since his father's funeral, like drugs, but in a saner way. He was the only one who could make him feel fine, he brought pauses to the constant pain he was going though. Tyler had a blind trust towards him, and he never regretted it. He thinks Jeremy is full of pras and can hardly find cons. Everything he does Tyler thinks he does it better than anyone else. When he was with Jeremy he felt comfortable and anxious at the same time, and there was also this something he couldn't put into words, was this something love?

"Can you pass me another lantern please?"

Matt's voice brought Tyler back to reality.

"Yeah, sure"

He looked under the tables and handed Matt the last lantern.

"It's the last one"

Matt took the lantern and climbed the ladder while his best friend continued the conversation.

"So... all of the stuffs you've been describing to me, that's how you feel about Caroline"

"Yeah, I just love her! But I don't know if it's reciprocated. I can't tell how she feels. Well, how she feels for me, her emotions on the other side she expresses them very well. I mean, she's this amazing girl one minute and then this raging jealous freak the next" Matt answers as he was climbing down the stairs.

"Look, you know what I think about Caroline Forbes. She's an insecure narcotic bitchy little twig"

"Hey!"

"But the girl's got heart, she means well. You just get the mean with the best sometimes"

He envied Matt, to be able to date the person he loved. Even if he was jealous he wished the best for his best friend, he wanted Matt to continue having with Caroline this thing Tyler couldn't have with Jeremy.

Matt gave it a thought and answered "Yeah. I'm gonna go get an extra. I'll be right back"

As Matt was walking away Tyler walked towards Jeremy, pretending he wasn't seeing him. He had to know what it would feel like to be around him, now that he knows what's love like, he could see if that was what he was feeling for Jeremy.

"Hey man" says his crush who noticed him

Tyler turned his face, the sight of Jeremy made him speechless. His heart started beating faster so he turned his face back immediatly so it would stop. He didn't want to do this anymore, he wanted to run away. But Jeremy already talked to him, there was no turning back. All Tyler knew he could do was saying just one word that wouldn't screw things up.

"Hey!" he answered

"Hey, so I did a little research on that stone you showed me"

Damn! He got rid of the moonstone, how could this werewolf thing be thrown into his face again? Besides, why would Jeremy actually care? The surprise made Tyler turn immediatly.

"What? Why?"

Fast heart beating again! Tyler turned his back on Jeremy again and took a discreet deep breath as the other one was talking.

"I don't know. Curiosity, boredom..."

Tyler faced Jeremy, acting natural, even though he was twice uncomfortable: on one hand he was talking to the guy he was potentially in love with and on the other hand this same guy was mentioning his family curse he didn't want to talk about. But Jeremy did researches, the least he could do was listening a bit.

"What did it say?"

The second Jeremy started talking again Tyler looked down, this situation was way too uncomfortable for him. He didn't want to look at who he liked the best talking about what he liked the less.

"Well, it turns out that it's part of this Aztec legend but I want to make sure it's the same kind of stone. You think I could er... check it out again?"

"No. I gave it to my uncle"

The news shocked Jeremy, why giving Mason the moonstone? He thought he was the only one Tyler could trust!

"Why did you do that?"

This time Tyler really faced Jeremy, he had to made it clear he never wanted him to mention it again.

"Because I'm done with legends and curses. I don't want anything to do with it, okay?"

Jeremy got troubled: he could neither get the moonstone neither talk about werewolves with Tyler again! Their relationship suddently lost half of its interest, but he tried to pretend it didn't matter.

"Yeah, yeah sure. It's probably… Just, uh, stupid folklore anyways. Forget it."

"Okay"

During the silence Jeremy looked for something else to talk about while Tyler was trying to figure out his feelings. All that he knew right now was that he was feeling uncomfortable, but being with Jeremy was still enjoyable. Even if it was a small talk with one of his least favorite subjects of conversations he liked being with Jeremy. The latter broke the silence

"Hey, do you still have my werewolves scratches? I couldn't find them when you gave me my backpack back" Jeremy asks

"Oh yeah sure. They're in my bedroom. Come with me, I'll give them back"

Tyler started walking away followed by Jeremy.

"Great thanks"

Tyler kept talking as they were walking though the living room.

"I hope you don't mind, I was just thinking about the curse and it made me want to see the drawings. Then I forgot to put them back in your bag"

"No problem man, I get it"

Everytime Tyler hears "I get it" from Jeremy he feels like the other one is entering his soul, like he was actually understanding everything he did and felt. That made Tyler feel overwhelmed, that was probably why he had this blind trust towards him.

When they arrived to Tyler's bedroom he opened a drawer and looked for Jeremy's notebook.

"They're with my other drawings, I'll get them"

"Your other drawings? Can I see some of them?"

Tyler freaked out a bit. He was afraid Jeremy would see the ones of him. But he quickly took others from his drawer and closed it.

"Yeah sure. Here"

Tyler gave a few papers and the notebook to Jeremy then leant against the wall, crossing his arms, while his crush sat on his bed.

"Thanks" Jeremy briefly looked through the drawings and looked back at Tyler "These are the same you showed me when we worked on the Willow Creek project together, you didn't draw since?"

"Like I said, not much. Nothing I finished at least"

"Can I still see an unfinished one?"

"It wouldn't interest you"

"I'm always interested"

Tyler thought for a few seconds and answered.

"Okay, just because it's you"

To Jeremy's surprise, he walked away from his drawer and looked in his bin.

"Wow, you must have really hated it"

After digging Tyler gave Jeremy a ball of paper.

"This was a one-shot that I drew under... emotions"

Song: Never Say Never by The Fray or I'm With You by Avril Lavigne

Jeremy unfolded it and saw a drawing of a stumbling boy on a floating rock, around him there were human bodies attached to the wall with knifes, one of the bodies were unfinished, the boy's eyes and eyebrows haven't been drawn and the entire scratch is crossed out.

"Well, this is... different from what I saw before"

"Because of what I drew or how I drew?"

"It's not as great as what I've seen before, but it's not that bad for a one-shot."

Jeremy looked at Tyler, he saw that he needed to talk about what he drew. So he looked back at the drawing and kept talking.

"You don't usually draw dark stuffs either, that's more my type. You're more into drawing athletes, cities and superheroes"

Jeremy starred at the scratch and put his hand on the boy, then the bodies. He could relate to this feeling of seeing everyone he knows dying, but didn't get what the floating rock meant. After giving it a thought he understood it was linked to the knowledge of the supernatural world, having a reality completly changed. Jeremy didn't feel that way about it, to him it gave a purpose in his life, while it made Tyler feel lost. Jeremy looked back at his friend and saw how much he could use one.

"Is this how you're feeling?" he asks full of compassion

"Alone, lost and confused?" Tyler uncrossed his arms and started walking around the room "Pretty much: people die on me, stuffs I stopped believing in since I was 6 turned out to be real and involving my family... " then he sat on the chair on his desk, facing Jeremy "I thought drawing would help me evacuating but it didn't work. Did you try it when your parents died?"

"To the contrary, it made me drop it. You and I didn't really grief the same way: you tried to give a precise idea of your emotions, while I tried to forget mines by getting high"

"We're not that different, I tried to drawn my emotions by getting drunk remember? Moreover, the drawing thing didn't work with me. I'm more into turning all my bad emotions into hate"

"Why are you telling me all this?"

Tyler didn't realised how much he was opening himself until Jeremy asked him this. He was just so comfortable with him he could tell him everything ,but his feelings. First he thought he went too far, but confiding in his crush felt so good he decided to continue anyway.

"Because you seems to be the ony one who can understand how I feel." Tyler stood up and walked toward his bed "We may not be the same persons but we've been through the same" then he sat on his bed next to Jeremy "Plus you're understanding, when you found out what type of person my father was you were ready to forgive me for everything I've put you through. When you came to me that night I was... sad. And I converted it into anger, that's why I punched you. And I'm sorry for that"

It was so weird for Jeremy to see Tyler that way. It wasn't the first time he felt this close friendship, but he always thought Tyler turned into a better person since the funerals. He just understood the guy has always been that way. This made Jeremy realising that Tyler has hidden his true self for a long time, that the guy he used to hate actually had this person he now likes so much on the inside.

"It's okay" Jeremy answers. He was still confused though. Why did Tyler hide it? Why hiding such a nice personnality?

"No, it's not. But I won't do it anymore, if I have to be sad around you, I will be sad around you."

And if I fell attraction for you, I will fight harder to restrain it Tyler thought.

Jeremy didn't know what to answer, he was just thinking about what his friend was going through. As Tyler was looking at him, he saw the broken boy he used to bully again. Even though he seemed to feel better, he realised this kind of pain could never completly go away. And thought about what he put Jeremy through when he lost his parents.

"I'm not only sorry for that, I'm sorry about everything" A mix of rage and sadness started to invade Tyler, he got so ashamed he couldn't continue looking at Jeremy "God! If I had known what you were going through, I wouldn't have been so awful to you! I would've help you through this... Who am I kidding? I was a real douchebag back then, but still, I would have left you alone instead of dragging you even downer."

"Tyler, are you okay?"

Tyler started to calm a bit when he heard Jeremy's voice, so he looked at him again. But even if the sight of Jeremy was pleasing and relaxing Tyler was still feeling awfully bad.

"No, I'm not! And I'm sick of pretending I've got my life all together while everything is falling apart! People are keep trying to comfort me by honoring my dad, but it only reminds me of what I lost!"

"Ty, I'm so sorry..."

Jeremy is about to put his arm around Tyler's shoulder to give him a hug but the latter stops him.

"Whoah, what are you doing?"

"I just wanted to give you a hug"

"No homo"

Crap, why did he say that? Jeremy had doubts and homophobia is now known to be the gayiest thing! But Jeremy wasn't thinking of Tyler's potential attraction, but about the fact that the douchebag he used to hate came back to the surface again and totally ruined the moment.

"What? Is it gay to hug a guy who grieves his dad?" Jeremy asks pissed "Whatever, I gotta go" he says while getting up

As Jeremy was starting to walk away Tyler felt like an idiot. Why did he do that? He had to stop pushing Jeremy away everytime he was afraid to feel something!

"Wait!"

Jeremy stopped and turned to Tyler. The latter walked towards his crush and gave him a hug. Jeremy was surprised at first but then hugged back. It felt good, Jeremy felt a connexion with Tyler, like he finally learned to know who he actually was, what kind of person was hiding behind the dick who slept with Vicky. And it was a great person, a person who was more than the owner of the moonstone, a person that he wouldn't use for Damon's purpose anymore, a person different from him on the outside but so alike on the inside. Inside that he seemed to be the only one to know about, which made Jeremy feel exclusive. It felt even better for Tyler. He was letting himself go, squeezed very hard and even clenched his fists into Jeremy's skin. It felt like he was exploding from inside, like he was loose but strong at the same time. He faced what he was afraid to feel for so long. And that was the best thing he has ever felt.

It was love. Tyler knows this now. He was in love with Jeremy, and finally learned to accept this truth.


	5. Mason's last words

"Shouldn't you two be helping downstairs?"

Tyler opened his eyes and saw his uncle, with crossed arms and judgy eyes. He quickly grabbed his crush's shoulders and pulled him away. Jeremy didn't get why Tyler was embarrased to hug him. Maybe it was a Lockwood tradition to forbid men having sensitivity. Or maybe Tyler and Mason both knew that he was working the enemy? No, Tyler wouldn't trust him that much if he knew. But Mason probably knew, seeing the look in his eyes and considering Damon's lack of discretion about these things. Jeremy wasn't afraid though, he just gave Mason his dark eyes back and answered.

"Yeah, we should" then he walked away without looking at Tyler or Mason "See you around Tyler"

Tyler walked to the door and watched Jeremy walking away, disappointed. Then he thought about the day of his father's funeral when Mason did the exact same thing. The latter made a step forward as he was lecturing his nephew.

"Do you think you're honoring your father's memory like this?"

"Come on, I can stop helping for five minutes!" Tyler said as he was starting to walk away to find Jeremy.

But Mason stopped him with his hand. "That's not what I'm talking about"

Tyler didn't answer, what was he talking about? He couldn't know about this could he? Mason continued talking

"You think that now your father's gone you can finally start your little romance?"

Damn, he knew! Tyler freaked out but didn't let it show.

"What are you talking about?"

"I knew it since the day I came back to Mystic Falls. I heard your heart beating faster than usual and understood, so I followed the sound of it to see who you fell in love with. Imagine my surprise when I came in and saw you with that boy"

So Mason knew before Tyler, how weird. He didn't like what his uncle has become. Especially his super-hightened hearing, and his lack of discretion. How could he say all of this out loud? Anxious, Tyler looked around to make sure no one else heard.

"No one else is there, I could hear if anyone was coming" the wolf reassured him.

Okay, maybe the super-hightened hearing wasn't that bad after all. Even if Tyler didn't really trust his uncle anymore, he knew he could when it was about keeping the last remaining Lockwood inheritor's potential homosexuality a secret. If it was just between him and his uncle it was fine, so he wasn't afraid to speak anymore.

"Alright, I love him. So what? My sentimental life is none of your damn business"

Tyler entered his room and started closing the door when Mason held it back. The teen looked at him annoyed, but stepped back as his uncle was entering the room as well. The wolf closed the door and looked at his nephew.

"It can be. Have you told him?"

"No. And I don't plan on doing that, I know he won't love me back. So don't worry, the family's pride is safe"

"What? This isn't what I'm talking about! I'm not your father, I don't care about the family's pride! Have you told him about the werewolves?"

Tyler smirked "Oh, this I did"

Mason sighted. Of course he told him! Young love, why does it have to turn teenagers into idiots?

"I don't think you should trust that guy" warns the wolf

"I still trust him more than you"

"That's stupid! You can stop trusting me if you want to, but in this case you shouldn't trust anyone anymore. How much do you even know about him?"

"I've known him my whole life, I know who he is"

"Do you? I've pretended to be human for a year, you've pretended to be straight for two years, why wouldn't he have something to hide as well?"

"I trust my instincts"

"You mean your feelings." Mason walked away, opened the door, stopped and looked back at his nephew "Think about it"

Then he walked away. Tyler didn't want to follow him. How could he lie to him for weeks and then tell him not to trust the only person he was feeling secure with? Instead he decided to wait a moment in his room before going back helping with Matt, or Jeremy if he can find him first.

* * *

 

When he heard the young Gilbert's voice, tied in Damon's chair, Mason felt a little satisfaction in being right about being suspicious about him. Sadly, his nephew hasn't been. Tyler's heartbeat was so loud and fast when he was around Jeremy, anyone with a supernatural hearing could tell that he was in love with him. This was probably why the vampires used the young boy to get informations from Tyler. Mason felt bad for him, to be used by his first love. Though Tyler was young, it was his age to fall in love with the wrong people. While with experience Mason managed to fall in love with the right person. Tyler loved someone who was manipulating him while Mason loved someone who was helping him. Katherine was an amazing woman, she was doing everything she could to get him rid of his curse. But Mason wasn't stupid, he wasn't trusting her like Tyler was trusting Jeremy.

Jeremy had a lot of feelings in mind as he was watching Damon torturing Mason. He was satisfied to see the guy who recently tried to kill his sister suffer, he was also feeling useful and strong for contributing in this, but he was also feeling bad about it. Because in spite of everything Mason was a person, and Jeremy couldn't help feeling compassion. Especially when he undertstood Mason did this for love and stupidity. The actual guilty person in this was Katherine, again. Mason was just her toy in this. A toy who didn't mind killing a weak human in cold blood though. That made Jeremy feel a bit better. But much less better when he understood Damon was going to do the unfixable.

"It’s time to take a walk, Jeremy" The vampire tells him.

He was going to kill him. No, Jeremy didn't want that to happen. Mason maybe deserved some torture but he didn't deserve to die.

"I’m staying" Jeremy answers

"No, you should go"

"I’m staying, Damon. He’s got enough"

Seeing Jeremy not letting him die gave Mason hope. He knew that he was going to die, but he still had hope for his nephew. Jeremy clearly wasn't as heartless as Damon, maybe a part of him actually cared about Tyler.

Mason begged to Jeremy "Just help Tyler. Don’t let this happen to him"

Hearing Tyler's name reminded Jeremy that Mason wasn't just Katherine's partner, he was also Tyler's uncle. What would happen to him if he lost another relative? He couldn't let this happen!

"Damon…" Jeremy almost whispers

Mason saw it, he saw that Jeremy cared. He knew that Jeremy would help Tyler. But would Damon let him? This hope faded away when he saw Damon strangling Jeremy, he definitely had the boy under control.

Damon yells to Jeremy "You want to be a part of this? Well, here it is! Kill or be killed! The guy is a werewolf; he’ll kill me the first chance he got so you suck it up or leave!"

Then he released him. Jeremy knew that he couldn't stop this. Damn it! He was with Damon what the hell was he expecting? That he would use soft psychology on Mason to get what he wanted then let him go?

"He wants me to kill him anyway" Damon went back to Mason "Don’t you Mason? Really is a curse, isn’t it?"

Even if death would be a relief for Mason what would it do to Tyler? Jeremy left against his will, angry. As he was walking away Jeremy felt a pinch in his stomach. He just let Tyler's uncle die! He even helped in his murder! What was the point in killing him? Couldn't they just convince him that Katherine was just a manipulative bitch who wasn't in love with him? He replayed in his head what Damon told him this morning _"Your search for life's purpose is as obvious as it is tragic"_. He didn't want to admit it but Damon was right. He was feeling alone, lost, he needed adventure to feel useful or whatever else that would make him feel he was worth something. But it wasn't how he felt anymore. Having blood on his hands made him feel guilty and even more lost. He was still going to continue being involved in the supernatural world though, because wether he wanted this or not it was part of his life, and ignoring it was the worse solution. But he was gonna do it another way, he wasn't going to work with Damon anymore. But what was he gonna do about Tyler? How can he still be friends with the nephew of the person he just got killed?


	6. Avoiding

As Elena was driving him to school Jeremy couldn't stop thinking about how much he hated Katherine. Jenna was at the hospital because of her. This psycho asked his aunt to stab herself and what for? Just to break a couple she didn't like? He couldn't lose another person he loved, especially not for such a stupid reason!

It was also Katherine's fault if Mason became their enemies, if Damon had to kill him, if Jeremy had to be involved in his murder and if Tyler had to lose his uncle shortly after losing his father. Tyler wouldn't be grieving though, since Damon covered up the murder and made everyone believe Mason was gone back to Florida. But still, his uncle wasn't ther anymore. To Jeremy hiding this from Tyler was worse than telling him the truth. He was so upset when Elena hid Vicki's death from him, and now he has to do the same thing! He could never look Tyler in the eyes again knowing he let his uncle die. He couldn't talk to him again, lying to him and pretending to believe his uncle went back home...

When Elena stopped at the red light she gave a look to her brother and noticed there was something wrong.

"Jeremy, are you okay?"

He didn't answer. That was a stupid question, how could they be okay with a psycho vampire ruining their lifes? Elena guessed the answer was no, so she tried to comfort her brother.

"Jenna is going to be okay, I promise. And even if she gets really bad, we can still feed her with vampire blood and compel her to forget"

"It's not only that... I witnessed torture and a murder yesterday. And that was for the first time, well, the first time that I kept in memory"

Elena looked away uncomfortable, knowing he was talking about Vicki. Jeremy saw that even she couldn't look at him in the eyes thinking about it. He realised this guilt could never go away, which made him even more sure that his friendship with Tyler was screwed. He was going to miss him, he really liked sharing stuffs with him: arts, grief... In spite of the appearances they really had a lot in common, and Jeremy was one the few people who knew it. That was the only thing left that was making Jeremy feel special: seeing what a great person Tyler was behind his mask of shallowness. Just like he did with Vicki... Vicki, that made him remember he was talking about her with his sister, and that he left her uncomfortable with the thought of his first love. So he went back to the conversation they were having.

"Sorry I brought this up Elena"

"Don't be, it was my fault. I shouldn't have lied to you in the first place. But let's go back to you: how did it feel to witness a murder?"

"Actually I didn't see Damon killing Mason, he made me leave before"

"Still, how did the rest feel? The torture, knowing about the murder..."

"Weird."

"I've been through this kind of things too Jer, I know it feels more than that"

"We're arrived."

She understood he didn't want to talk about it, but Elena didn't want to leave her brother like this.

"You know, since I found out what Stefan was I had to witness more murders than I can count"

"Is this supposed to make me feel better?" Jeremy said as he was leaving the car.

"No, it's not..."

Elena left the car as well, went in front of Jeremy and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Look, it happens to all of us and it's going to happen again. This is one of the reasons why I didn't want you to get involved. But now that you made your choice, you have to face the consequences"

"You're right, that was my choice. And I'm gonna have to be stronger than that"

Jeremy gave his sister a quick hug and left her to go to his class.

**Song: Bad Karma by Ida Maria**

Before he had the time to get inside the school he saw Tyler Lockwood and stopped. The other guy haven't seen him yet but he was too close to the front door: Jeremy couldn't reach it without being seen by his ex-friend. So he looked around to see if he could talk to anyone before he could be able to enter the school without facing an awkward situation. After looking a bit he saw Caroline. She was sitting on one of the benches, turning her back on the table. She seemed a bit angry. It was like she chose to be alone, but Jeremy decided give a shot in talking to her anyway. He walked toward her and stayed up in front of her, turning his back to the front door.

"Hey Caroline, what's up?"

Caroline rose her head, still looking pissed. Not that Jeremy was annoying her, just that the fact he showed up didn't affect her mood at all.

"Hey Jer. Nothing new, just avoiding Matt, as usual. By the way, can you move a bit to your left please? You'd be hiding me better"

Jeremy was surprised at first, he never managed to understand Matt and Caroline's current relationship. But moving a step to his left wasn't much of an effort, so he did as she said.

"Yeah sure" he answers.

"Thanks"

It was weird for Jeremy to see Caroline like this, she used to be so smiling before. Even if Miss Mystic Falls wasn't always happy when she wasn't she would at least fake smile. But that was back then, when she was human and didn't have actual problems. Turning into a vampire really changed her: the way she worked, her personnality... Elena already told Jeremy she was growing stronger, more confident and more selfless. For the first time in a long time he started to find her interesting. He wondered how much being a vampire changed the blonde.

"Why are you on your own?" Jeremy asked, breaking the silence

"Elena went inside but I can't reach the front door without being seen by Matt, so I'm waiting for him to move"

Jeremy gave a quick look to Tyler and saw he was talking to Caroline's boyfriend (though he wasn't sure if he still was). He hasn't notice him in the first place. So here they were, him and Caroline, avoiding the two dudes glued to the front door. That was a damn coincidence. He couldn't help but giggle, which annoyed Caroline.

"What's so funny about that?"

"Sorry, it's just that I'm avoiding Tyler and they're together. It's a funny concidence"

"Really?" she smiled, probably for the first time of the day "You're right, it is funny! And practical: we can team up! You hide me while I watch them so that I can tell you when they leave"

The blonde got so exited when she told Jeremy her plan, he was surprised to see how fast her mood changed with such a small detail. It was probably because she was a vampire, Anna told him that when you become a vampire your emotions get hightened. Even if it didn't seem to take much Jeremy was still feeling satisfied for cheering the young vampire up and smiled as well.

"It is practical"

"Why are you avoiding Tyler?"

"I'm feeling guilty about his uncle's death"

Caroline's smile faded and she started to get angry.

"I killed two innocent people less than a week ago, in front of my mum! Then she hated me more than she already did! Then when she finally decided to accept me the way I am I had to erase her memory! And now, I have to see her everyday, lie to her and think about what I did! How do you think I am feeling?"

She realised she let herself go when she saw Jeremy's intrigued face. She starred at him ashamed, then put her face in her hands.

"God, I'm sorry! That was because of the emotions..."

"It's fine, I get it"

"They're so invading! Sometimes I'm tempted into turning them off"

"I can relate. I've even tried to become a vampire so that I could be able to do that"

"Really? When?"

"The day before you turned into one, I think. I drank vampire blood and tried to kill myself with Elena's meds. But I didn't take enough of them and the vampire blood just healed me"

"Believe me, you're lucky. Katherine didn't miss me with that pillow"

Katherine, again. She really is the source of all of their current problems!

Matt wasn't really focused on his conversation with Tyler. He spent most of it throwing glances at Caroline. Even when Jeremy came in front of her he kept looking where he knew she was, in case she would move. Tyler noticed his best friend's lack of attention.

"Earth to Matt! What was I saying?"

"She's avoiding me"

Tyler made himself a reason that they couldn't talk about football for the moment. So he talked to Matt about the only thing that was running through his head.

"Caroline?"

"Yeah, she stayed by herself for like 5 minutes"

"So what? She must be waiting for Elena or Bonnie" Tyler says trying to reassure Matt

"She's not, I already saw Bonnie and Elena must be there already since her brother is. I can even see him talking to Caroline right now"

"Jeremy's here?"

Tyler looked where Matt was looking and saw his crush. For the first time in his life he could actually enjoy looking at him. All of the other times he used to feel anger, shame, or guilt, for liking it, for liking him. He still wasn't feeling completly well, knowing his feelings couldn't be reciprocated. But this was the first time he was looking at Jeremy knowing and accepting he was in love. And not restraining or denying his feelings made him feel a way he wouldn't have suspect the existence of a few weeks ago. He was hypnotized by the sight of his crush, like he had different eyes that made all of Jeremy looking magical. Even if he was from behind Tyler could still recognize him because of his specific haircut. It wasn't specific just because he had long hair for a guy but also because they're adjusted a specific way. And Tyler could recognize it over hundreds even if Jeremy often changes his hair, but always manages to make them look great no matter the lengh. Not only because he was good at doing his hair but also because almost anything suits him. Probably because of his perfectly proportionned face. He could never tell if his traits are square or round, it was kind of a perfect combination between the two. Yeah, anything could suit this beautiful mesmerizing face...

"Earth to Tyler!" says Matt using the same tone Tyler did a few minutes ago.

Damn, he spent too much time staring! How could he be drooling so much just over a haircut? He had to come up quickly with a good excuse, making believe he was observing and not staring.

"Are you sure he's with Caroline? I can't see who he's talking to. All that I can see is a pair of pink leggins and black shoes."

"I know it's her. I've seen her before he came and I know these leggings and shoes, they're hers"

"You can recognize her based on a piece of clothes?"

"Love can make your brain do surprising stuffs"

"Why is he even with her? I thought he would come with us"

"You two are spending a lot of time together now uh?"

Tyler didn't like the way Matt was talking. Was his best friend having doubts? Though he couldn't deny what was just said, they did spend a lot of time together lately. Ever since they talked about werewolves there wasn't a day where they didn't see each other.

"Yeah, he's a good confident. He's the only one who understands what I'm going through" Tyler answers

"Maybe he doesn't want to spend all of his time comforting you. It's not like you did the same to him when his parents died"

The dark-haired got embarrased. He really hated thinking about that time where he used to make Jeremy's life hell. How could he be so cruel to someone just because he was afraid of his feelings?

"You're right" he agreed, thinking he didn't deserve his crush's kindness.

Matt was feeling a bit jealous of Jeremy. He was the only one who also knew what it felt like to lose a parent, so the only one who was able to cheer Tyler up. Though he knew that feeling was ridiculous, his best friend needed someone to understand him and Matt couldn't be this person. He had to accept that he wasn't Tyler's only close friend anymore.

"Well, I hope he's not gonna replace me" the blonde said with a joking tone.

"As if anyone could replace my man! Come on, let's go to class"

Before they entered the building Matt gave a last look to Caroline and Tyler a last look to Jeremy. He was disappointed, he was hoping they could spend the day together. But it was fine, next time Tyler sees him they will be able to talk.

* * *

Jeremy was satisfied that he managed to avoid Tyler and be on time at his english class. Well, he wasn't really satisfied of avoiding Tyler, but he just couldn't look at him without thinking about what he has done to his uncle. And even when he wasn't looking at him he could hardly stop thinking about Mason tied up in Damon's chair, crying, fed with wolfsbane. This was the most horrible thing Jeremy has ever witnessed, he still couldn't believe he's been a part of this. Then he remembered this anger he could have when someone harms his family, he didn't know how far this could go until that moment. This was ironic because that made him become the one who harms family, he harmed his favorite friend's uncle. If Tyler knew what he did he wouldn't want to be his friend anymore, they would even go back to being enemies again. It made Jeremy think about that period, all of this times they fought, when Tyler punched him... It made him feel like all of the things he endured back then he deserves them now. It made him feel a bit relieved. A bit.

When he left his classroom Jeremy walked immediatly through the corridor, hoping he wouldn't cross Tyler's path. Crap! He was the first person he saw when he reached the door, and there were only 10 feet between them! He was hoping the crowd would hide him but Tyler and Matt saw him back.

"Hey Jer!"

Jeremy didn't answer and walked faster as he heard Tyler's voice. The latter stood still, astonished, watching his crush walking away.

"What the hell was that?"

"Maybe he didn't see you"

"Maybe he didn't see me. But he definitely heard me and walked faster"

"Maybe he was in a hurry"

Tyler looked at his best friend. It reminded him the problem Matt had this morning with Caroline. What if Tyler was living the same thing? He hesitated asking, but he did anyway.

"Do you think he's avoiding me too?"

Matt giggle, amused that they switched roles. But Matt thought Tyler wasn't avoided by the person he loves, but by a friend. He didn't know his best friend and him were both feeling the same pain and anxiety.

"Well, if you are..." the blonde said as he was tapping hid best friend's shoulder "Welcome to the club! Now let's go, we're gonna be late for football practise"

Tyler really hoped Matt was right, and that Jeremy was just in a hurry.

* * *

At lunch time Tyler decided to wait in front of Jeremy's english class so that they could talk. He really felt like a creepy stalker for doing this, but he needed to be with Jeremy. When his crush walked through the door Tyler came in front of him.

"Hey Jer"

Damn it! And the corridor wasn't crowded enough to disappear! Jeremy had to face Tyler this time.

"Hey Tyler!" He answered, unable to hide well how uncomfortable he was feeling "Sorry for dodging you this morning. I was afraid of being late for chemistry; my teacher is a real dick with late students"

"No problem. Do you wanna have lunch with me and my friends?"

Jeremy couldn't stand seeing Tyler like this, so innocent. He wasn't supposed to be happy to see Jeremy. He was suppose to be angry at him for letting his uncle die! It was like they were in two different dimensions, Jeremy in the one where Mason died and Tyler in the one where Mason was back in Florida. He wished they could be back into the same dimension. He wished he could tell Tyler or be compelled to forget. But he couldn't do any of those, telling Tyler would put people in danger and forgetting would force Elena to lie to him again.

Though he really wanted to tell Tyler. Even if the lie seemed to do him more good than the truth, Jeremy knew it didn't. He knew that Tyler missed his uncle anyway. He knew this frustating feeling of hoping someone you miss is gonna come back, but never does. Even though he didn't know about Mason's death Jeremy knew that Tyler had this emptiness inside, and that he was the one to blame for that.

Jeremy couldn't stop thinking about those things when he was looking at Tyler. He couldn't look at him for an hour, he couldn't have lunch with him. So he looked for an excuse to avoid this.

"No thanks. I don't want to deal with your friends, I bet they all despise me"

"Come on! They won't do anything bad, I promise. Not if you're with me"

"I'm not worried about what they could do, but what they could think about"

Jeremy was afraid that Tyler could catch this lie, he never cared about what people could think of him since he has reached the bottom of the social ladder. Even if with time he managed to climb it a little, having a former bad reputation made him realise people's opinion wasn't as important as it seemed. Tyler knew, or at least suspected, that Jeremy didn't care about what other people could think of him. He was a bit surprised to hear Jeremy saying he was worried about it but didn't suspect him of lying. After all hanging with people who didn't like him could be a different thing than just being in the same building with these people. Though Tyler didn't really care about the rest of his friends anymore. He liked hanging out with them but the most important ones to him were now Jeremy and Matt.

"Alright. Then it can be just you, me and Matt" he offered

Jeremy couldn't believe this, Tyler was going to ditch almost all of his friends just for him? He didn't deserve that, he didn't deserve Tyler's kindness! Not after what he did.

"Don't ditch your friends because of be. I'll be fine"

"You worth better than all of them"

Did he just say that? Tyler was maybe starting to go too far. Urg, being friends with the one you love is so damn complicated! He had to stop insisting, his feelings might start showing if he continued.

"Still, I... have a homework to do for this afternoon." Jeremy realised it was a pretty short excuse so he extended it a little "I was too lazy to do it yesterday night, so I have to eat at the library if I want to finish it today"

Tyler wanted to offer eating at the library with him but he had to stop insisting. Besides, why throwing that homework excuse this late in the conversation? Jeremy definitely made that up. Tyler pretended to believe him.

"Okay then, see you around!"

"Yeah, see you around"

Jeremy walked away in the opposite direction of the cafeteria. Which was weird because the library wasn't this way. This time Tyler was sure, Jeremy was avoiding him. Why would he? Things were going to great the last time they saw each other. Or maybe it was going too great? What if Tyler outed himself when he hugged him? He replayed the scene in his head, wondering if he didn't do something that would show his attraction for his crush. What if he had squeezed too hard? Did he smell his hair? What the hell did he do to make Jeremy avoid him? Whatever it was he had to fix it. He couldn't lose someone else, especially not Jeremy.


	7. All is lost

Tyler spent the entire lunchtime thinking about Jeremy, worrying about losing the friendship of the one he loves. He wasn't paying attention to what was happening around him, except for the food he was eating. He didn't care about what his friends were talking about.

But one of them had to cut him out of his thoughts "What about you Tyler?"

"What?" Tyler raised his head, confused.

"I bet he wasn't even listening" Another one of them says "Of all our teachers, who do you think has the funniest accent?"

Tyler didn't want to think about it, he didn't give a crap about his teachers for the moment. Matt started worrying about him.

"Tyler, are you okay? You've been pretty absent since we started eating"

"I'm fine, it's just..." Tyler looked at his lunch, saw green beans and answered "My father used to love green beans"

He didn't really like using his dead father as an excuse, but this was the best thing he could find at the moment. Though he didn't choose green beans for nothing. They did remind him of his father, but not for the same reasons. Like every kids, he used to hate vegetables when he was 10. He could remember how his mother insisted on making him eat green beans. One day she asked her husband for help: he first tried to intimidate Tyler with his father voice, but it didn't work. So the next thing he did was punching his son on the rib, after that the little boy held his chest and screamed of pain. When he opened his mouth Richard put a fork of beans in it. Tyler got grossed out by the taste, but he was too afraid to spit. So he ate his green beans, in fear and pain, restraining himself to cry, afraid it would make it worse. His mother was shocked when she assisted this but then, whenever she wanted to make him eat something she would say "You eat this or your father will make you" and it worked everytime.

Tyler wondered how other parents made their child eating something. He thought they probably all used better methods. Then he thought about Matt, his mother may didn't make him eat anything and fed him with whatever was left in their house. Maybe Matt or Vicki were even the one who did the groceries. After all that could be worse than Tyler's father, even if he's been harsh on him at least it showed he cared about him. Tyler never realised that before, even if Matt used to tell him he was lucky to have parents who actually take care of him.

Then he thought about the day his father died, something dangerous was happening and he knew it. The first thing he did was to tell his son to leave town, but he stayed and died. He put his son's life before his. He even stayed to protect everyone in Mystic Falls. He always thought of his father like the bad guy, but he was actually a hero. And it took him to die for Tyler to realise it!

Matt saw how bad Tyler was feeling. He wanted to comfort him but he knew Tyler wouldn't like that to happen in public. Besides even if he could he wouldn't know what to say. He knew what it was like not to have a father, but didn't know what it was like to lose one. He has still already tried the missing father card but he saw it wasn't enough to comfort Tyler. He hated being that helpless. He wished Jeremy was there to help him. Matt really hoped Jeremy wasn't avoiding Tyler. He saw that Elena's brother was the only one who could make Tyler actually happy, he saw how much he needed him to make through his father's loss.

The rest of his friends on the other hand, tried to ignore Tyler's bad mood. They were feeling uncomfortable around him, especially during these moments of absence. This day it was even worse. Even if Tyler managed not to show his sadness too much, he was obviously distracted and less entertaining. During the rest of the day, less and less people were around him, not seeing the interest of his company anymore. At the end of the day, when he left school, Matt was the only one who stayed by his side. Even if Tyler was mainly thinking about his father, his crush and his uncle, he could still notice this major decrease of popularity. He didn't care that much, the only friend loss he actually cared about was Jeremy's. Though he couldn't help but asking his best friend about the other ones.

"They don't like me anymore, don't they?"

The question made Matt uncomfortable, but he answered anyway.

"No! It's just... They miss the old you"

"I don't"

"Really? Do you like the sad, distracted you?"

"At least I'm not a dick anymore"

Matt was surprised to hear that. He thought Tyler stopped hitting other people because he was too busy grieving, not because he didn't want to anymore.

"Still, I don't like seeing you suffering"

Tyler really appreciated Matt's concern, but he wished Jeremy was there instead. He was better at comforting him about his father, but it wasn't only that. He also wanted to talk about his uncle leaving and how worried it made him be about the werewolf curse. Moreover, Jeremy's presence was enough to make Tyler feeling better, there was something warm and conforting about it. And Matt couldn't make him feel the same.

But Jeremy was avoiding him. Tyler didn't know if this would last, but he had to accept some help wherever he could get some. And even if Matt couldn't make Tyler feel this rush of adrenaline he could have when Jeremy was around, he could still do him some good in another way. He was his best friend since they were kids, there was something secure and familiar about him. He had to open himself to him. Besides, there was something he has never told to anyone, not even to Jeremy, that only Matt could have a chance to understand.

"Are you going to start the car?" Matt asks

Tyler didn't even noticed they entered his car. Though this arranged him that they were in a private space. He didn't start the car, thinking it was the right moment to confide in his best friend.

"Look, I'm gonna tell you about my dad"

"Really?" Matt reacted, happily surprised that Tyler finally decided to open himself.

"Yeah. And before you judge me, remember you kicked your own mother out"

"Why?"

"Because you know what it's like to have an unbearable parent. But first of all, I want you to know that I miss him anyway. I feel lost, empty... Actually, not completly empty, but like half empty. And that this half of me that's gone... was the bad part of me."

"So you think losing your dad made you a better person or something?"

Tyler was looking in front of him. He couldn't say this by looking at someone, saying it out loud was already hard enough.

"Pretty much, he used to put so much pressure on me. He was keep trying to turn me into someone he wanted me to be, and never gave a crap about what I wanted. Now ever since he's gone I miss him but I also feel relieved. I feel like I can be who I want now. It feels good, and I hate myself for that. I hate that a part of me is happy that my father is dead."

When he finished Tyler looked at Matt to see his reaction. He didn't seem shocked, but Tyler needed to justify himself anyway.

"What if your mother died? Wouldn't you feel the same? Wouldn't you feel all of the pressure going away?"

"I don't want to think about that"

"That's my problem Matt, I have to. And I really feel like a bad person"

"So turning into a good person makes you feel like a bad person?"

Tyler liked the way Matt phrased that. It made him feel less bad about himself. But he was forgetting how he was becoming a good person. Then he remembered who reminded him how much he changed. Jeremy Gilbert. He thought about their relationship before and after his father's death. Before he was a dick who would bully him because he couldn't accept his feelings for him, he dated Matt's sister to keep her away from him and made both of them suffer. After he decided to accept his feelings for Jeremy, he became his friend and tried to share the cool things in his life with him: his parents' alcohol, popularity... But it wasn't only his father's loss that made him a better person, it was also Jeremy. Tyler didn't love him for nothing: Jeremy was sweet, caring, strong... He was a real source of inspiration.

Song: Unwanted by Avril Lavigne

Tyler's thoughts got interrupted by the sight of Jeremy who was leaving the school. His mind told him to stay in the car and let him go, but his body did the opposite. Tyler got out of the car, leaving his best friend alone and confused. He couldn't let Jeremy avoid him like this. He became too important, Tyler had to try getting him back. He knew he was going to do a big mistake, but he had nothing left to lose.

Before Jeremy saw Tyler coming towards him he had his headphones on and was going to put on his music. When he saw his ex-friend he didn't have time to pick a song, he immediatly put his phone back in his pocket and walked away from Tyler, hoping he would give him up because of the headphones.

"Jeremy!"

Jeremy didn't react and kept walking away. Tyler ran toward him and grabbed his arm.

"Hey!"

"What the hell Tyler? Let go off my arm!"

Angry, Jeremy tried to get his arm away from Tyler's hand. The latter let it go, hoping his crush wouldn't take this as an opportunity to walk away.

"Sorry for that. Since you couldn't hear me or see me I thought you could still feel me" Tyler says with a sarcastic tone.

"What's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with YOU? You've been avoiding me all day! I think that if someone else I care about is gonna get out of my life at least I deserve to know why!"

Jeremy didn't believe what he just heard. Did Tyler just say he cared about him? Did he just compare losing him to losing another relative? Jeremy calmed down, thinking that maybe avoiding Tyler wasn't a good idea.

"I didn't know I meant that much to you"

Jeremy's tone calmed Tyler as well. He wished he could tell him how he was actually feeling, but it was too risky. What if it was the reason Jeremy was avoided him? Tyler preferred to limit himself telling Jeremy he was an important friend.

"My father's dead and my uncle's in Florida. I couldn't take it if I also had to lose a friend"

Jeremy's mind changed the second he heard "my uncle". He wasn't in Florida, he was buried six feet under in the woods!

"Your uncle is back to Florida?" Jeremy asks, pretending to be surprised.

Damn! He was playing surprised bad! Besides, was he even supposed to care that his uncle went back home? Was he even supposed to know his uncle was living in Florida? Maybe he was supposed to believe he went there for vacations. He couldn't pretend he didn't know, he especially didn't want to! Tyler could see Jeremy was uncomfortable, but he wasn't suspicious, he was concerned.

"Are you okay? You seem uncomfortable"

"Yeah, I just... gotta go"

Jeremy fastly walked away. Tyler got angry again, followed Jeremy and grabbed his wrist harder than the first time.

"Hey! I didn't get my explanation!"

"Dude, let me go!"

"Why are you avoiding me?"

"You're hurting me!"

"I'll let go off your wrist if you don't walk away again!"

"Fine!"

Tyler let go off Jeremy wrist and asked his question again.

"Why are you avoiding me?"

"Why can't you let me go? You already have Matt as a good friend"

The two questions left the two boys uncomfortable, since the two answers were what they absolutely wanted to hide from each other. Tyler answered first.

"Because... I need you. You're the only one I can share my two main problems with. You know what it's like to lose a father and the only one who knows about the werewolfes"

"Does it matter? You don't want anything to do with it anyway"

"Still, you're now the only one who can get me through my grief. You know what it's like to lose a father"

Jeremy thought about the time he was grieving his parents. It reminded him their relationship back then, when they were enemies. Tyler has been a real dick to him, but even if Jeremy forgave him he thought of it as a good excuse for avoiding him, so he used it.

"Yeah, I know what it's like to lose a father. And I don't remember you being helpful in my grief!"

"I know, and I'm sorry! You have no idea how ashamed I am for that!"

"Well, maybe I will have an idea if I leave you alone. Then I could find someone you love and take that person away from you, make fun of your alcohol problems, and everytime I see you never miss any opportunity to insult you or hit you!"

Wow, Jeremy really went far, he didn't know he still had this anger towards old Tyler inside him. A year ago he would have dreamed of something like this to happen. But he knew that Tyler didn't deserve that anymore. It made him feel even worse when he saw how bad Tyler was feeling after he said that. It felt like their roles were reversed, now Tyler was the one grieving, starting to get addicted to drugs and losing his friends, and Jeremy felt like he was turning into the bully. He wouldn't spend his time harrasing Tyler though, but he needed to say one more thing hurtful. So that Tyler could hate him and stop trying to hang out with him.

"By the way, where are your friends? Looks like you're having my old life back. Good luck in turning into someone you used to harass"

Tyler remained speechless by everything. So many things were going on in his head: shame, heartbreak, grief... Jeremy didn't manage to make Tyler hate him, but Tyler had his answer. He was going to leave his former friend alone once and for all. As Tyler watched Jeremy walking away he felt like a part of him was consuming. When his crush totally disappeared from his sight it digged a huge hole in his heart, widening the one he already had since his father died. Then Tyler noticed a few people were watching their scene. He wanted them to stop looking at him, so he went quickly to his car. When he finally reached the vehicle he saw Matt and remembered he was supposed to drive him home. So he sat on the driver's seat and apologized.

"Sorry I made you wait" he said as he was starting the car.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine"

"It was kind of a scene over there"

"I said I'm fine!" Tyler starts yelling.

Matt didn't insist and let Tyler drive him home without a word. When his friend finally left his car Tyler drove to the woods. He couldn't keep it all inside, and talking about it wasn't the solution. He felt like he was burning inside. The feeling was unbearable, it was the second worst thing he has ever felt in his life. And the first one happened not even a month ago! How could everything in his life fall apart? How could this go worse? Who else was he going to lose? His mother? Matt? It didn't even matter, because all of his hope for happiness rested on one person, and he just lost him! One of the things Jeremy said came back in Tyler's mind "I could find someone you love and take that person away from you" If he knew he just did it by walking away... Now Tyler could exactly know how Jeremy was feeling when he took Vicki away from him. Tyler was feeling so shitty, how could have he been so cruel to his crush? Moreover just after his parents's death? How could he have stolen Jeremy the only thing, the only person who was able to give a sense to his life?

When Tyler finally reached the woods he was tempted into crashing his car into a tree, but he knew how supid it was. So he stopped next to this tree, got off the car, took his jack from it and hit the tree with it using all of his strengh. As he was evacuating his rage his whole story with Jeremy was playing in his head, when they met as kids, when they started befriending at the beginning of their teenagehood, when they became enemies in high school, how they became close friends after, and how everything crashed in a day. When Tyler used all of his energy he stopped to catch his breath and looked at the tree. It was really damaged, but not cut in half. Tyler was still impressed of what he did. After he got a little of his energy back he went back to his car. Inside it he saw himself in the rearview mirror and noticed his eyes were wet. So he dried them and drove back home, pretending nothing happened. He still felt like he was over, empty. He didn't want to get through his life anymore but he knew he had to, for his mother's sake.

Jeremy was in his bedroom, laying on his bed. He felt really shitty for what he said to Tyler, but he couldn't have told him the truth, that would have been worse. Even if the guy had been a real dick to him when he lost his parents, he knew he has changed. Jeremy realised Tyler started being a different person the night he found out Vicky had died. He replayed that moment in his head.

Just after he heard the news from Sheriff Forbes Jeremy went outside, just behind the Grill. He rest his back on the wall, then sat, practically falling and started crying. As he was sobbing he saw a pair of legs walking and stopping just in front of him.

"You okay?"

The boy raised his head and saw Tyler Lockwood, why was he here? Since when did he give a shit about him? All Jeremy found to do was drying his tears with his sleeve. He didn't know what to say, so his ex-bully continued talking.

"That was a stupid question"

Then he got down on his knees and looked at the broken boy in the eyes.

"I just called Matt, everyone is going at his place. Do you want a ride there?"

"I'd rather stay here"

"That wasn't really a question, I'm not letting you here by yourself. We don't know how Vicki died yet, but if it's another animal attack I don't want to have your death on my hands"

The way Tyler was talking was very calm, it made Jeremy feel peaceful. Not that he was feeling better, but he felt like he could stop crying as he was hearing the sound of his voice. He felt the compassion in it.

"Alright, thanks"

"Come on, my car's right here"

Tyler got up and reached his car, followed by the younger boy. They didn't talk the first minutes of the ride. It wasn't an awkward silence but Tyler broke it anyway.

"I have no idea how you feel like. I know I'm supposed to say that I know how you feel like, but I'm not going to lie. I didn't love her like you did. I'm sad she died sure, but I'm not really grieving her. I'm especially feeling sorry for the people who lost her: Matt, you... The first time you had to grief, I was really shitty to you, but I won't be that way this time. So if you need anything, like talking, or help... You can ask me. Anytime"

Jeremy didn't say a word, he was wondering if he could trust him. He knew the guy was sinceer sure: Tyler was brutal, not sneaky. But Jeremy didn't really need anything from Tyler, he didn't feel like opening himself to him. The only person that could have a chance to make him feel better was Anna. He was still reassured that he lost an enemy though.

When everyone was at Matt's place it was pretty quiet. Silence and feelings were surrounding the room, a part of Jeremy wanted to be alone and break down but another part was feeling comforted by the presence of the others. He looked at the one who brought him here, thinking it wasn't such a bad idea after all. He knew he made peace with him, but could they really start being friends? Tyler looked at him back, so Jeremy looked down again, he didn't really want to communicate in any way.

That was the night when Jeremy stopped hating Tyler. Even though the guy couldn't really help him, he saw that he cared. He let the other guy in his life: they first had small talks, then they worked together for the Mystic Falls parade. Jeremy really had a blast doing it, it was the first time he could actually share his passion for arts with somebody. There was also Elena, but all she could do was listening and approving. With Tyler there was an actual exchange: they showed each other their drawings, talked about their technics... Jeremy felt a connexion with Tyler that day. This connexion got even stronger the day of the mayor's funeral. It was like they were merging, they both entered an universe they were the only ones to understand.

Jeremy started missing Tyler. He got up from his bed and went to his desk, he grabbed his drawing notebook and looked at the werewolf drawings he made. He thought how interesting Tyler was, how he wished he could talk to him again to know more about him... He also thought about Mason, who was also a werewolf, Tyler's uncle, that he let die... And how things couldn't be the same again between them anymore.


End file.
